The Earth’s in Charge Here. Always

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When it’s cold like this, really cold, the air from the humidifier hits the window and little droplets of water form along the bottom edge. There have been times this long, continuous winter, where they actually freeze, and it’s like the outside is seeping in through the glass, no longer content with only the outdoors as its domain.

I turn down the humidifier, but it doesn’t always help, the window so cold that any moisture at all in the air seems to find a spot to gather. I can turn it off completely, but then it gets arid, dry enough to draw any moisture from me, until I feel like a long-suffering mummy.

Either way, the weather wins.

It’s seasons like this when the Earth shows her sharp, glistening teeth, when we can see that we are mere guests here. We are only being tolerated.

Things could become very uncomfortable very quickly, and the planet wouldn’t care. We are so fragile, and the Earth so enduring. We found a niche, but niches don’t always last forever.

You’d think we’d try to keep ours going.

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Start Your Day with Complications Over Coffee

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Romance is in the cup, or so it appears in this contemporary romance from Asrai Devin. Or over the cup. Whichever. Either way, it looks like a fun, light read perfect for a Wednesday.


Complications Over Coffee (Up In Flames) by Asrai Devin. Amazon for $1.99. Nicole received the news seven months ago: men are cheating scum. She is close to signing her divorce papers, or she thought she was. Then her lawyer calls and says her soon to be ex-husband wants to sell the house and take custody of their two children.

Nicole turns to her new friend Mandy Turner for support. Where she inevitably ends up with a crush on the handsome and charismatic Corey Porter.

Corey had lived his life apart from others until he met Mandy Green, who has taken Corey’s one time confession for a family to heart. She would like to see Corey settled and happy as she is with Kip. So she starts on her quest by sending him on a blind date, later speed dating and an attempt at on-line dating.

Corey has his reasons for wanting to stay single. And he has no intention of talking about them. Even to his best friend Mandy. He would do anything for her, so he goes along with her match-making attempts, even though it drives her crazy.

Nicole and Corey meet in the Turner driveway one day, while Corey is running from Mandy and Nicole has just returned from a meeting with her lawyer. Corey invites Nicole to vent to him. When she does, her passion ignites desire in Corey, which leads to a heated kiss. And then an embarrassed parting.

Circumstances throw Nicole and Corey together again and again.

While Nicole struggles to finalize her divorce, find a job, she also fights a growing. Corey struggles with his tight hold on bachelor hood and his temper.

Kip has some struggles of his own while he tries to deal with his wife’s growing belly and the reality that he will have a baby to look after.

Will Nicole and Corey successfully keep their lives untangled? Or will they give in to their desires and let their lives get complicated?

Voted Most Talkative? You and Andy Cohen Both!

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If you’ve seen his late night show on Bravo, “Watch What Happens Live,” you know Andy Cohen as bubbly, intelligent and hilarious. He’s also got a very steely resolve under that charming demeanor. No matter who his guests may be, it’s impossible to end the impossibly speedy half-hour without a smile. Now you can have that with no need for a cable connection.


Most Talkative: Stories from the Front Lines of Pop Culture by Andy Cohen. Amazon for $8.89. he man behind the Real Housewives writes about his lifelong love affair with pop culture that brought him from the suburbs of St. Louis to his own television show

From a young age, Andy Cohen knew one thing: He loved television. Not in the way that most kids do, but in an irrepressible, all-consuming, I-want-to-climb-inside-the-tube kind of way. And climb inside he did. Now presiding over Bravo’s reality TV empire, he started out as an overly talkative pop culture obsessive, devoted to Charlie’s Angels and All My Children and to his mother, who received daily letters from Andy at summer camp, usually reminding her to tape the soaps. In retrospect, it’s hard to believe that everyone didn’t know that Andy was gay; still, he remained in the closet until college. Finally out, he embarked on making a career out of his passion for television.

The journey begins with Andy interviewing his all-time idol Susan Lucci for his college newspaper and ends with him in a job where he has a hand in creating today’s celebrity icons. In the witty, no-holds-barred style of his show Watch What Happens Live, Andy tells tales of absurd mishaps during his ten years at CBS News, hilarious encounters with the heroes and heroines of his youth, and the real stories behind The Real Housewives. Dishy, funny, and full of heart, Most Talkative provides a one-of-a-kind glimpse into the world of television, from a fan who grew up watching the screen and is now inside it, both making shows and hosting his own.

I Love Lucy was a Long Time Ago

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The other day, I woke up far too early to get up, but much too alert to go back to sleep. So I turned on the TV to find an episode of “I Love Lucy.”

Perfect.

The Ricardos and the Mertzes sat together in that iconic living room, listening to a beautiful radio, Bakelite by the look of it. One of the questions was about the last state to be admitted into the Union.

It was Arizona. Think about that. Back then, in the early days of the Lucy looniness, before the chocolate conveyor belt and weeks after Vitameatavegamin, Arizona was a baby state, only admitted in 1912, not yet dreaming of what was to come.

Then Lucy said she thought there were 46 states, and covered her embarrassment by saying she must have forgotten about Alaska and Hawaii, which was funny to them and not to us, because, of course, those states wouldn’t be admitted for seven more years. Such a strange thought.

Lucy, in that black-and-white living room, with the love seat sofa and the curtains in the background, only had 48 states. That we have 50 seems so immutable, so permanent.

But even these things change.

Dig into Some Demons and Deep Dish Pizza

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It’s the title of this collection of three short stories that got me. I mean, who can resist the title? It’s fantastic. Apparently, it’s better if you read The Demon Mistress (An Eva Prim Novel) by Jordan K. Rose first, though.


Demons and Deep Dish Pizza (Eva Prim) by Jordan K. Rose. Amazon for $0.99. Shoes. That’s all Eva wanted. A kicking pair of shoes for a night out on the town. Instead she ended up with two crazy demons, two dead guys and one deep-dish pizza.

The Eyre Affair Is One of the Most Fun Reads You’ll Have

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Time for another author I love, and if you’ve never read him, you’re in for one of the biggest treats of your reading existence. He’s a reader’s writer, he’s hilarious, and his imagination will leave you spinning. If you haven’t yet tried Jasper Fforde’s Thursday Next series, what the heck are you waiting for? You’ll be laughing in mere minutes.

And his other books are also amazing. Note: Bucking the trend, I did not, in fact, make a total fool of myself when I went to a signing of his, braving a snowstorm to get there, back when every day wasn’t a snowstorm. So there’s that, too.


The Eyre Affair: A Thursday Next Novel by Jasper Fforde. Amazon for $10.99. The first installment in Jasper Fforde’s New York Times bestselling series of Thursday Next novels introduces literary detective Thursday Next and her alternate reality of literature-obsessed England

Fans of Douglas Adams and P. G. Wodehouse will love visiting Jasper Fforde’s Great Britain, circa 1985, when time travel is routine, cloning is a reality (dodos are the resurrected pet of choice), and literature is taken very, very seriously: it’s a bibliophile’s dream. England is a virtual police state where an aunt can get lost (literally) in a Wordsworth poem and forging Byronic verse is a punishable offense. All this is business as usual for Thursday Next, renowned Special Operative in literary detection. But when someone begins kidnapping characters from works of literature and plucks Jane Eyre from the pages of Brontë’s novel, Thursday is faced with the challenge of her career. Fforde’s ingenious fantasy—enhanced by a Web site that re-creates the world of the novel—unites intrigue with English literature in a delightfully witty mix. Thursday’s zany investigations continue with six more bestselling Thursday Next novels, including One of Our Thursdays is Missing and the upcoming The Woman Who Died A Lot. Visit jasperfforde.com.

Imagined Promise of Organization

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The Container Store gives me hope. Every time I go in, or even drive by it, I feel as though if I just find the right magical combination of items, my this time, my life will be perfectly, completely organized. This time, with this special bin and that special hanger, it will all come straight.

Of course, that’s what they want me to think.

But they’re so good at it. With the banners politely screaming in the windows, the store holds the promise that everything, absolutely everything is containable. Everything can be put neatly into a place, if only you purchase the right place to put it.

The store whispers to me about who I could be, if only I exchanged a few piddly bits of dirty paper for sleek, gleaming new opportunities. Take these things, and there you’ll be.

If only.