OK, I’ll admit it. I’m on my second cup of coffee. What’s that, hypothetical reader? I swore, mere weeks ago, that I only have one cup of coffee a day? Hang on. Hear me out.
I’m not actually cheating.
It’s my second cup, yes. But of half-and-half, that is half caffeinated and half decaf. Totally legit, right? I mean I’ll end up with the same caffeine as one cup of regular, more or less.
Don’t you love a loophole?
Did you say something, hypothetical reader? Why yes, yes, I think I did overdo it with caffeine a while back, thank you for remembering. Thank you for remembering very much.
(As a side note, the spell-checking thingy says that “much” is misspelled. It is very much not misspelled, but that kind of thing messes with your head. Is it misspelled? How do you spell much? There’s not much that can go wrong with that spelling. And now “much” looks weird).
Anyway, I have it all under control. I just need a little mental greasing up, is all. A tiny boot to the brain, so to speak. Who speaks like that, hypothetical reader? Is that what you said? Many people. Many many people.
No, hypothetical reader, I can’t name them. Someone’s feeling picky today. Very much so.
Anyway, I’m off to do amazing things with my newly-caffeinated brain. Amazingish. Let’s not set the bar too high.
Check out my full-length novels, Her Cousin Much Removed, The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management and Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only), and the sequel, Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) which is now available!