Jane Storegoer and the Cone of Evil, Part 11


skull icecream colorized yellow pinkI’m taking a badly-needed technology break! To keep you entertained without my daily nonsense, I’m posting the complete stories of Jane Storegoer, a character who sprang to being during the #AtoZChallenge in 2016.  During my break, I’ll post the installments daily. Can’t wait? Catch the rest of the posts here. They start from the bottom. Hope you enjoy!

“Hang on, hang on,” said Jane. “If you are both gender-neutral–”

“We are!” said Linda and Barry in unison. They then glared at one another.

“Then how did you end up with…creamsicles?”

“Us, us, she means us!” said the twins. They giggled madly to one another.

“You see,” said Barry, glancing at the orange pair, who were hopping from stick to stick in a circle, “When an ice cream cone loves a popsicle–”

“Oh cut the cutesy,” said Linda, “We had a long, cold night together. We were both the last ones in our boxes, and it gets lonely in the freezer.”

“Right,” said Iris. “I think the the question, though, is a little more technical. If there’s no gender…”

“Can you people get your minds out of the drain pan for one second?” Linda blocked Barry’s path, shifting right as Barry shifted left; left as Barry shifted right. “All I know is I have two extra little ones to keep an eye on, and Barry gets to go galvanizing around, miniaturizing people again.”

Jane had made it a far distance down the path, but she stopped. “You’ve done this before?”

“Barry’s done EVERYTHING before,” Linda said. “Quite the full-fat lifestyle, if you ask me.”

“And what happened to them?”

“You want to tell them, Barry?”

“Tell them! Tell them! Them tell!” sing-songed the twins.

“It’s OK,” said Barry.

“Did you get them out of the freezer or what?” Jane stood very, very still.

“In a way.” Barry kept its eyes on the ground.

“In a way?” Jane said. “In a WAY?”

“This part of the freezer is weird,” said Iris. “Maybe I should go back and test my luck with the Tofuratti.”

“Uh-uh,” said Jane. “I need your help. I’m getting out of this place, no matter what it takes to do it.”


Like my political side? Read my opinion pieces here.

Check out  my full-length novels: 

Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   

Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 

 Her Cousin Much Removed

 The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.

And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!


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