comedy

Rewind: Candidly; The Work of Writing Two: #AtoZChallenge

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By Wilson Afonso from Sydney, Australia (Just browsing Uploaded by JohnnyMrNinja) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

It’s time for a blog rewind! A replay of a previous post, originally published during the A to Z Challenge on April 4, 2017. Enjoy!

Again.

(More Work of Writing Posts.)

 

Once again, this account is completely and totally fictional which means it never happened and is not true and is made up and is fictional.

And definitely not true.

Ah. New day. A good day. A good day to get some real work done. Some serious work. Serious work. Ser-ee-ous.

Let’s just move that remote off of the coffee tabl–DAMN IT!

I’ve never seen a glass spin like that. End over end. I barely tapped it. Barely. And now it’s everywhere. At least it’s only water. Only water, it will dry. And the glass didn’t break. Good. Back to it. Wait, need a little paper towel to blot it up. OK. Blog post then editing.

Blog post. Right. Blog post. Blog POST. Bloggity blog blog blog. Post.

Some more decaf? Yep. More decaf. Ah, that looks good, just blot the bottom of the cup, looks like there’s a little coffee there, and–DAMN IT!

It’s fine, it’s fine, the coffee did kind of jump out of the cup, but at least it didn’t go IN the toaster. A little under, sure but a quick wipe and, yep, we’re ready to go.

Cofffee is set and stable (ha! So funny. I’m a spiller! A spiller who can laugh at herself. Hmm. Maybe write that down). Time for some real work. Serious work. Ser-ee-ous.

Right after I make sure there’s no more coffee under the toaster.

Check out  my full-length novels,  Her Cousin Much Removed,  The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management and Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only), and the sequel, Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) which is now available!

And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!

 Sign up for my spamless newsletter!

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Institution

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As in Aunty Ida’s mental one. It’s full-service, in case you’re wondering. Who wants a mental institution that isn’t full-service?

No one, that’s who.

Aunty Ida is a character, and I mean that in both senses of the word. Allegedly, she’s fictional, but part of me believes that out there, beyond the skin of this universe and well into the densely-packed parts of the next, she’s sending me detailed descriptions of her shenanigans with one of her improbable inventions.

It’s more logical than me just making her up.

Eh, go meet her, you’ll see what I mean. Just, um, you know, be careful with your brain since she probably won’t be, and we are no longer carrying spare brain parts.

 

Check out  my full-length novels: 

Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   

Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 

 Her Cousin Much Removed

 The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.

And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!

Peruse Montraps Publishing.

 

#FridayReads: Spring clean your noggin

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Mind teeming with deep, dark wintry cobwebs? Aunty Ida’s just the one to clean them out.

Perhaps a little too enthusiastically.

So, you know, keep an eye on your brain. 

And if you’re brave enough for more…

The Curious Call of Cravings

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Ever have one of those days where all you crave is sugar, sugar, sugar? I’m having one of those days right now.

For me, its usually the sign of an oncoming migraine, a huge, looming thunderhead rolling toward me. But unlike storms, sometimes the headaches can be fended off.

With sugar.

So obviously I need to eat as much as I can, right? I mean, it sounds perfectly logical to me, but then again, I’m the one with the tiny voice inside my head alternately whispering — then yelling — SUGAR!

In fact, it’s all I can do to keep myself planted right where I am and finish this post, instead of getting up, going to the cabinet and taking just one more of those coffee caramels I got from Trader Joe’s. Just one more. Caramel.

It’s not as though you could tell if I did, could you?

As far as vices go, perhaps sugar isn’t the worst I could have. Though recent studies indicate it’s pretty terrible for you. All this time we were giving the stink-eye to fat, and it turns out that fat isn’t too terrible a fellow.

Well, unsaturated fat, anyway. His cousins, saturated fat and trans-fat are killers. It’s awkward at Thanksgiving.

Where was I? Ah yes. Sugar craving. Which it seems I’ve managed to distract myself from with images of fat globs sitting around a turkey and sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top.

Mmm. Marshmallows.

We can’t always help where our mind goes, or what’s churning in the back while we slap on a smile and pretend to be present. What we can do, though, is focus harder on being present.

The rest will take care of itself.

Probably.

Or I’ll get another caramel. Whatevs.

Hey, did you see a real-life scientist scienced Aunty Ida?

Check out  my full-length novels: 

Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   

Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 

 Her Cousin Much Removed

 The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.

And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!

Peruse Montraps Publishing.

#AtoZChallenge: The Name is Ida. Aunty Ida.

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As Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only) counts down its final hours of the the $0.99 price, it seemed like a good time to talk about characters. Specifically one character. Because today is I and her name starts with an I and–

Ahem.

Anyway, when it comes to writing, characters simply come to me. Sometimes I get a line; sometimes it’s a name; sometimes it’s a situation. I rarely know anything about my characters when I first meet them, so readers and I are in the same boat.

Aunty Ida sprung, wholesale, from the title of the book, which I had long, long before there was a book. I didn’t know what to make of her the first time Margaret meets her; she simply appeared, this odd, brilliant scientist, sweeping the upright Judge Margaret Hamerton-Simpary into her brightly-colored and very off-kilter world.

Though Margaret drove the story — how I fought that character for control every inch of the way! And in the end, she was right — Aunty Ida shaped it, every watchful.

Sometimes, as much as this will make me sound like I’m in need of Ida’s services myself, it feels as though I’m tapping into people who exist somewhere else in the universe. And I think, when it comes to writing, that’s the key.

If your characters feel real, feel weighty, feel like they could exist somewhere to you, your readers will believe in them too.

#AtoZChallenge Entertainament! TV Talk

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By Tomascastelazo (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

Quick reminder, Aunty Ida is only $0.99 for a limited time! If you’ve liked hanging out here, wait until you meet Aunty Ida.

Time for TV Talk! Which is all about entertainment. Which starts with an E. What’s that, hypothetical reader?

It’s totally legitimate! Entertainment IS an e-word and today’s show, “Chewing Gum” is A++ entertaining. There’s no such grade as A++?

There is now.

So “Chewing Gum” is a British comedy created by, written by and stars Michaela Coel. You might recognize her from the British show “The Aliens.”

No, hypothetical reader, you don’t? Come on now, I’m not the only person who watched that show. Probably.

It’s a good show, but back to “Chewing Gum.” It also features Susan Wokoma, who appeared in the equally brilliant “Crazy Heads,” and “Crashing.” Wokoma, like Coel, is a natural comedian, and so, with this show you have that magical combination of perfect, precise performance coupled with witty, razor-sharp material.

I told you it was A++.

Coel stars as Tracey, who lives on a housing estate (the flowery UKian term for public housing) with her mother and sister, Wokoma. She navigates the awkward moments of young adulthood in excruciatingly hilarious comic fashion, written with just the right amount of push and restraint.

I admit I’m a sucker for the shows written by the stars, something that seems to happen regularly in the UK. It allows for such a range of talent, and the material is always so suited to the performances.

Two seasons (series on the other side of the Atlantic) of “Chewing Gum” are available on Netflix US, and you need to start watching it now. Small caveat, though: like many British shows, a series is just six episodes.

Use them wisely.

Check out  my full-length novels,  Her Cousin Much Removed,  The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.

 Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only) ($0.99 for a short time)  and the sequel, Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) which is now available!

And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!

 Sign up for my spamless newsletter!

Candidly; The Work of Writing Two: #AtoZChallenge

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By Wilson Afonso from Sydney, Australia (Just browsing Uploaded by JohnnyMrNinja) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

(More Work of Writing Posts.)

 

Once again, this account is completely and totally fictional which means it never happened and is not true and is made up and is fictional.

And definitely not true.

Ah. New day. A good day. A good day to get some real work done. Some serious work. Serious work. Ser-ee-ous.

Let’s just move that remote off of the coffee tabl–DAMN IT!

I’ve never seen a glass spin like that. End over end. I barely tapped it. Barely. And now it’s everywhere. At least it’s only water. Only water, it will dry. And the glass didn’t break. Good. Back to it. Wait, need a little paper towel to blot it up. OK. Blog post then editing.

Blog post. Right. Blog post. Blog POST. Bloggity blog blog blog. Post.

Some more decaf? Yep. More decaf. Ah, that looks good, just blot the bottom of the cup, looks like there’s a little coffee there, and–DAMN IT!

It’s fine, it’s fine, the coffee did kind of jump out of the cup, but at least it didn’t go IN the toaster. A little under, sure but a quick wipe and, yep, we’re ready to go.

Cofffee is set and stable (ha! So funny. I’m a spiller! A spiller who can laugh at herself. Hmm. Maybe write that down). Time for some real work. Serious work. Ser-ee-ous.

Right after I make sure there’s no more coffee under the toaster.

Check out  my full-length novels,  Her Cousin Much Removed,  The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management and Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only), and the sequel, Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) which is now available!

And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!

 Sign up for my spamless newsletter!

The Work of Writing: One

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By August Müller (1836–1885) (Auktionshaus Bergmann) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

(More Work of Writing posts.)

 

Note: The below account is entirely fictional and does not in any way reflect what I may or may not have done at any time, including this morning, even if it sounds like it’s possible, remember it’s totally fictional. Fictional.

  • Good morning! Grasp coffee cup with both hands, staring beatifically out of the window. It’s Monday. Let’s get to it!
  • Oops! Gotta eat! Breakfast!
  • Check twitter.
  • Clean new electric kettle by boiling water. Huh. It needs a trivet.
  • Shop online for trivets.
  • Buy coasters.
  • Read trivet reviews closely. Scrutinize colors. Can it open a jar? Suddenly absolutely, positively need silicone trivets that can open jars.
  • Finally select trivets. Success!
  • Change mind, choose other trivets.
  • Look out window. Onward!
  • Check twitter.
  • Computer slow. Must reboot. Maybe run a check.
  • Shut down.
  • Screen is dirty. Clean screen.
  • Reboot.
  • Run scan.
  • Look out window. Can’t go onward. Must have computer to write.
  • Also must have computer to blog.
  • Also must have computer to edit.
  • Also must have computer to twitter.
  • Check twitter on phone.
  • Still scanning.
  • Pace. Every bit of exercise counts, right?
  • Still scanning
  • Inspiration! Remember the ancient method of writing with pen and paper.
  • Scratch out blog post.
  • Still scanning.
  • Take kettle for a test drive.
  • Scanning finished! Look at handwritten post. Remember why use computer to write everything.
  • Oops! Kettle’s ready. Make tea.
  • Clean out silicone Mana-Tea which also may or may not be fictional (it’s not. It’s adorable).
  • Glance out window grasping mug of tea with both hands. Onward?
  • Check twitter.

 

Check out  my full-length novels,  Her Cousin Much Removed,  The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management and Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only), and the sequel, Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) which is now available!

And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!

 Sign up for my spamless newsletter!

Last Chance to see “Witch, Please.”

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Tomorrow is the last performance of “Witch, Please.” at Donny’s Skybox in the Second City complex in Chicago! You get one last chance to laugh with us, have a little Halloween treat, and maybe a drink or two if you’re so inclined.

Come check out our unique digital blend while you have the chance! We just about sold out last week, so grab your tickets while you still can.

AND you can check out the super-awesome amazing props I made.

Fine. I might be over-selling the props. Hope to see you there!

In or near Chicago in October? Come see “Me Inside Me Presents: Witch, Please,” on October 1, 8, 22 and 29 at Donny’s Skybox Theater at 7 pm. Tickets available at SecondCity.com.

Check out  my full-length novels,  Her Cousin Much Removed,  The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management and Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only), and the sequel, Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) which is now available!

And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!

 Sign up for my spamless newsletter!

Laugh with a Discount! Come See “Witch, Please!”

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Only two more shows left! As “Witch, Please,” moves into our third (!) performance, we’re celebrating fall, Halloween and humor with a huge $4 discount on tickets! Just enter code “MAGIC” when you purchase tickets online.

So if you’re in Chicago or Chicago adjacent, have a sense of humor that needs a little tickle, possibly want a drink (there’s booze) and maaaayyyybbeee a little Halloween candy in honor of the season, come join us Saturday at 7 pm at Donny’s Skybox Theater in the Second City Training Center.

Did I mention there are amazing props made by yours truly? Who doesn’t love a good prop!

Don’t forget, enter “MAGIC” to get $4 off of the ticket price! Hope to see you there.

In or near Chicago in October? Come see “Me Inside Me Presents: Witch, Please,” on October 1, 8, 22 and 29 at Donny’s Skybox Theater at 7 pm. Tickets available at SecondCity.com.

Check out  my full-length novels,  Her Cousin Much Removed,  The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management and Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only), and the sequel, Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) which is now available!

And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!

 Sign up for my spamless newsletter!