Ground Coffee: The Experiment or La La La I Can’t Hear You Impending Doom

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The Night Café, Vincent van Gogh [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

In the interests of continuing to pretend that it’s all going to be OK and nothing’s happening, and no, we’re not all going to die in a horrible nuclear winter, today I bring you: Ground Coffee: The Experiment.

It’s science, y’all.

What’s that, hypothetical reader? I really can’t carry off “y’all?”

Fine. Whateves.

So after the debacle that is grinder of my new coffeemaker, I decided to indulge myself and get two different types of pre-ground coffee. And now OBVIOUSLY I have to pit them against one another.

Obviously.

For this experiment, I chose Dunkin’ Donuts’ Original Blend (my control coffee) and Caribou Coffee’s Light Roast.

I know you can’t wait. Here are the results:

Ease of bag opening: Dunkin’.

Don’t think this is an important criterion? Try wrestling with a stubborn bag bleary-eyed and in desperate, desperate need of coffee. That Caribou bag was TIGHT, yo. On the plus side, tighter seal, probably fresher longer.

First Sniff “AHHHH”: Dunkin’.

So much of coffee is that smell, the one that hits your brain and tell you help is on the way. Even with the super seal of Caribou, Dunkin’ had an edge on that opening-the-bag goodness.

The Biggie: FLAVOR. Caribou

What a twist, right? I didn’t expect it either, but when it came to that full-bodied, layered coffee deliciousness, I have to say Caribou got the edge. Now I did drink it first, so that may have been an advantage. For reference, these days I take my coffee blended with a touch of coconut oil, no sugar, so those variables could matter.

Overall Winner: Who Knows?

I mean obviously flavor is the biggie, so does it top the other factors? Probably. But really, they’re both good, and hey, we distracted ourselves for a little while, and I’d call that the big win.

For more on my thoughts about Charlottesville and rising bigotry, please read An Open Letter to My Friends of Color.

Check out  my full-length novels: 

Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   

Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 

 Her Cousin Much Removed

 The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.

And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!

Peruse Montraps Publishing.

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