So About that Humana Dental Plan…

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So you might recall my adventure in cancelling dental insurance. After a whole lot of back-and-forth, it seemed that the policy was finally cancelled. I didn’t have the payment debited on the 1st, and I just got the cancellation notice in the mail.

Hurrah!

But before I got the cancellation notice, I got something else. A bill for the paltry $37 the policy was supposed to cover. So I paid premiums for two months and got what for the money?

Absolutely nothing. Zero dollars. Nothing was covered. What, exactly, did I pay for with the premiums?

I read the documentation when I applied for the policy. I scrutinized it. There was nothing that led me to believe that it would cover nothing. I thought maybe the coverage wouldn’t be great, but if you pay for something and get absolutely nothing in return, isn’t that a…scam?

Luckily there will be no more money heading down that money pit. On the other hand, it seems awfully misleading to take money and then provide absolutely nothing in exchange for that money. It’s not even as though the bill itself was reduced; I literally got nothing for those premiums.

So I’d pretty much suggest not getting a Humana Dental plan. You know, unless you like giving your money away and getting nothing in return.

Check out  my full-length novels,  Her Cousin Much Removed,  The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management and Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only), and the sequel, Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) which is now available!

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Adventures in Cancelling Dental Insurance

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So I took a gamble this year and picked up a dental insurance plan. In the past I have priced them, and given the waiting periods for most, you end up shelling out more for the plan than the value the plan provides for services. Which is probably to be expected, because that is how profits are made.

But this year, I found a plan that sounded reasonably priced and seemed to cover the services I needed. I had an appointment scheduled in February, so I figured I’d only be two months into the plan when I had the appointment and then could tell if it was worthwhile.

The appointment came and went (yay on the went) and my brand-new insurance covered…$3 less than what I had paid into the plan thus far.

In six months, when I go back, I will have sunk four more months into the plan to get pretty much nothing out of it.

So I called the insurer to cancel the plan. First I had to wade through computer voice hell, a hell where the tone is much too pleasant, so you know the computer is enjoying it. I finally got a human, a lovely human as it happens, who told me that she couldn’t cancel the plan, that I needed to talk to a “marketplace representative.”

Uh huh.

Clearly it’s a tactic to try to get people to hang up. But I would not be deterred. She said the wait time would be 20 minutes. I figure I can write a blog post, right? Why not?

She asked if I wanted her to hold with me. I asked if it meant that they’d get to me faster. She laughed, and I took that as a yes. She said she was putting me back on hold; she promptly hung up on me.

Oops.

I called the number she gave me, waded through another electronic voice, and got in the hold line. Still 20 minutes. I settled in, but the other line rang. Then my cellphone.

It was my agent friend! She didn’t know what had happened but she kept our place in line, so here I am listening to tinny music through my phone speaker as I type this. I’m not sure where we are in the 20 minute odyssey, but I will cancel this insurance. I will.

I’ll keep you posted.

Check out  my full-length novels,  Her Cousin Much Removed,  The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management and Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only), and the sequel, Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) which is now available!

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Happy Health Insurance Ending?

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Yep. Health insurance. Again. I am currently on hold with the insurance company I am trying to pay. It is my third call to them, in essence asking them to take my money.

So far, 28 minutes on hold and counting.

It may not be fair to judge them by this wait time; the last two times I called, I had a short wait in comparison, and it wasn’t Monday morning the day before the application deadline for coverage on January 1. But it sure would be nice if they would take the exorbitant premium off my hands.

Let’s see if I can get a whole blog post written while I’m waiting for someone to answer. Any bets?

When I called before, I was not yet in the system. Hopefully by now I will be. I’m also having visions of hearing this twangy music that goes nowhere for the rest of my life. I’m relatively certain that that is the music in the elevator to hell.

The application process itself was very easy, but now I have to give them money for the policy to go into effect. They have an option that would allow you to wait for them to call you back, allegedly without losing your place in line, but I’m skeptical. And I’ve already invested more than half an hour. Now it’s a battle of wills. Well, maybe the will of the hold system isn’t really involved, but I am determined. Determined, I tell you.

Oooh, it rang through, I’ve paid my premium, and it looks like I’ve got insurance for another year! I have to wait to make sure it posts before cancelling my policy my previous insurer so generously shoved me on after cancelling my decent policy, but it looks like this issue is very nearly resolved.

Phew.

Check out  my full-length novels,  Her Cousin Much Removed,  The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management and Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only), and the sequel, Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) which is now available!

Sign up for my spamless newsletter. And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!

 

Writer, Meet Health Insurance

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WARNING: Topic ahead is so boring, it may cause entire sections of your brainular region to fall into a vaguely unpleasant catatonic state. Really. Read ahead if you want to, or if you’re having trouble losing consciousness for any particular reason, but you can’t say I didn’t warn you. Still with me? OK, here we go.

Health insurance.

Yep. Health insurance. What did I tell you? And OK, friends in the UK and other regions of the world who recognize that basic health shouldn’t be a cash lottery for huge corporations who exist solely to take money from one group and prevent giving it to the other, you can stop snickering right now. It’s just not nice.

One of the many, many fun things when you are a writer without employer-provided health insurance is getting health insurance. And when I say fun, I mean fun along the lines of, oh, say, the kind of thing the devil might make up to punish you when he’s not feeling ironic. It’s fun for the devil, at least.

Don’t get me wrong, as a person who was in the individual market before the health care law passed, I recognize that it is easier now, and the insurance, overall is better. But there was really nowhere to go but up.

And insurance companies are still insurance companies. After staring at the plans the hospital I prefer will take, it’s clear it’s like squeezing a tube of toothpaste. It doesn’t matter where you squeeze it, there’s still the same amount in the tube.

Eventually, I will just have to close my eyes and pick one. I’m down to three possibilities, and none of them give me the warm and fuzzies. Each of them getcha in their own special mind-numbing way. I just have to decide how I want to get got.

Check out  my full-length novels,  Her Cousin Much Removed,  The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management and Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only), and the sequel, Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) which is now available!

Sign up for my spamless newsletter. And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!