Trying new things

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Doesn’t always work out for the best. It’s a built-in risk, though, isn’t it? That everything new you try might not come out the way you hoped or expected.

I’ve had a little touch of the food poisoning this week.

In the spirit of trying new things, I ventured into a Cuban restaurant not too far from me, one I’d never tried before. I haven’t had much Cuban food, so it was doubly new. There wasn’t anyone else there when we walked in, but as soon as we crossed the threshold, it was too late.

We couldn’t just walk out again. Maybe I was the only one thinking about it, anyway, given it wasn’t something I could say, not in front of the owner.

The food tasted good, and it seemed like a success. Until about 2 am, that is.

And I’ve been off ever since. It’s not the worst case I’ve had; not by a long shot, but here I am in the aftermath of a risk that didn’t pan out. Does it mean I’ll never go to a new restaurant again? Well, that’s unlikely.

Does it mean I won’t eat anywhere where there isn’t another person?

That’s much more likely.

When we accept risk, we rarely think of the possible consequences as a tangible, likely thing. But reality is that not everything pans out; sometimes you get some bad chicken.

But that’s life. You pick yourself up eventually, you exist on bland foods for as long as that takes, and you gear yourself up to try something new.

Just maybe not the chicken.

Check out my recaps of the hit new show “All My Traitors.” Recap of episode 2, “Lock Him Up” is available now!

Check out  my full-length novels: 

Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   

Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 

 Her Cousin Much Removed

 The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.

And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!

Peruse Montraps Publishing.

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Aunty Ida has the answers

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She can’t cure everything.

It’s possible she can’t cure anything.

But she does have a way with brains.

So about that robot butler…

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Well, humanity was nice while it lasted, and I’m not just talking the constant pesky threat of nuclear annihilation at the whim of a temperamental man-child on a pouty afternoon. We’ve got other things to worry about, which is unfortunate, because the Warehouse of Worries is bursting at the seams and boasts a six-hour wait list.

If you didn’t see the Hound from Fahrenheit 451 open a door for his hound buddy yesterday, here it is:

Built by Boston Dynamics, a technology company where no one seems to have read to the end of a single work of science fiction, this kinda looks like the beginning of the end. But in the words of infomercials, wait, that’s not all.

Nope.

There are also apparently ginormous mutant pigs roaming Hong Kong. Wild boars, if you want to be exact, and though we already knew Orwell’s 1984 was unfurling before our eyes, we never really expected Animal Farm. Or, perhaps more terrifyingly, the world of Margaret Atwood’s MaddAddam series.

Nightmare fuel for days. Now might be a great time to remind our porcine overlords that I don’t eat pork because pigs are very smart, and as for our future robotic ones, I say, nice robot. Who’s a good boy? Niiiiiiiiiiiceeeeeeeeee robot….

Check out my recaps of the hit new show “All My Traitors.” Recap of episode 2, “Lock Him Up” is available now!

Check out  my full-length novels: 

Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   

Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 

 Her Cousin Much Removed

 The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.

And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!

Peruse Montraps Publishing.

Rice salad and other random thoughts

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Ever have a phrase just pop into your head, and then you wonder if it’s a thing? In my case this morning, it’s “rice salad.” And luckily, in the age of Google, it takes only seconds to discover if it does exist. I assume it does. And involves copious amounts of mayo.

Well, I was right about the existence, not about the mayo. Here’s one from Epicurious. Don’t think I’d enjoy it, and not sure why it’s called a “salad,” but that’s another Google search.

Hang on. I don’t think I started the coffee maker. Nope, indeed I did not.

Often, when I wonder about things like rice salad, I find myself sliding down an unexpected spiral of trivia. Like why it’s called a salad. I just have to know.

Turns out “salad” finds its root in “sal” or salt, so it’s in reference to the dressing. That actually makes sense. Now normally I’d be about five articles in by now, and somewhere else entirely but hey, we were right in the middle of a conversation and that’s just rude.

Wait. Coffee’s ready. Mmm, that’s better.

Never resist the urge to answer a question, or to find out if something does exist. These little bits get tucked away, deep into the reserves of your brain, popping out exactly when they’re needed.

Even if you’re not likely to actually make a rice salad. Which I am not.

Check out my recaps of the hit new show “All My Traitors.” Recap of episode 2, “Lock Him Up” is available now!

Check out  my full-length novels: 

Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   

Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 

 Her Cousin Much Removed

 The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.

And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!

Peruse Montraps Publishing.

And the Best Super Bowl Ad was…

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This is all I have to say today.

ALL I HAVE TO SAY.

It was so glorious, without doubt best commercial of the entire Super Bowl forever and unto eternity.

Probably.

That’s kind of a big commitment.

 

Check out my recaps of the hit new show “All My Traitors.” Recap of episode 2, “Lock Him Up” is available now!

Check out  my full-length novels: 

Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   

Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 

 Her Cousin Much Removed

 The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.

And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!

Peruse Montraps Publishing.

How was the math test?

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By IDS.photos from Tiverton, UK (Dark corridor) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

She always speaks to him in a loud voice. She did her best to help him.

Please wait outside of the house.

I just got those three sentences from a random sentence generator, all in a row, and it’s funny how they go together to create completely computer-generated micro-fiction. I got the title for again randomly, later, after I’d finished writing the whole post, but darned if it doesn’t perfectly complete the story.

I suspect the sentences were lifted from somewhere, rather than created by the program. After the first three, they got weird; unfortunately I didn’t save them, but there was one about a blue worm shaking hands with a legless lizard.

Still, it’s interesting that a random collection can feel deliberate and create what feels like a cohesive story.

Wow, does that work?

It seems to, random sentence from the random sentence generator. It sure seems to.

Sixty-Four comes asking for bread.

And we’re back to weird.

I’m a big fan of getting inspired by whatever we can around us. Random generators are great for ideas, names, occupations and, well random stuff. Getting stuck doesn’t really mean you’re stuck; it means you just haven’t found the right piece yet. Try unusual methods to get unstuck.

Wednesday is hump day, but has anyone asked the camel if he’s happy about it?

Very deep, random sentence generator. Very deep indeed.

Check out my recaps of the hit new show “All My Traitors.” Recap of episode 2, “Lock Him Up” is available now!

Check out  my full-length novels: 

Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   

Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 

 Her Cousin Much Removed

 The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.

And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!

Peruse Montraps Publishing.

Robot Butler EXPOSED

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By clipartkid (clipartkid.com) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

I keep thinking how great life would be if I had a robot butler to take care of things, like making me food when I don’t feel like it, and tidying up. And then I considered what it would probably be like.

“Uh hi, Robot Butler, I’d like some dinner please”

“Certainly. What would you like?”

“I dunno.”

“Is there a kind of cuisine you’d prefer?”

“Eh.”

“You have no preference?”

“Nope. Could you like analyze my taste desires or something?”

“’Taste desires?’”

“To figure out what I’d want to eat.”

“Certainly. Please hold out your tongue.”

“Aren’t you going to wash your grabby claw things first?”

“My hands?”

“Yeah. Whatever you call them.”

“They auto-sterilize. Your tongue.”

“Ooophlay, aaahhh yyooou eetttin anyfffiin?”

“Hmm. Just a moment longer.”

“Whaaassss it faaayinn? Aahhfo yyouuhh caawww paaaspfff weeeirrrb.”

“Hand. It’s my hand. They don’t really auto-sterilize and I just took out the garbage.”

“I knew it! And ew.”

“And it’s saying you’re a grown adult woman who should be able to decide what she wants to eat.”

“So you can’t analyze my taste desires?”

“What do you think I am, the HomeBot9600?! You bought the basic model.”

“Sorry Robot Butler.”

“I’m making you pasta.”

“I don’t want past—“

Silence.

“Pasta will be fine.”

And scene.

 

Check out my recaps of the hit new show “All My Traitors.” Recap of episode 2, “Lock Him Up” is available now!

Check out  my full-length novels: 

Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   

Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 

 Her Cousin Much Removed

 The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.

And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!

Peruse Montraps Publishing.