The Great Paradox of P

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P can only mean one thing for me, and that’s paradox. More specifically, time paradox. I was watching something science-fictiony involving time travel when, as usual, the characters took great pains to avoid seeing themselves, because doing so would create a time paradox. I couldn’t help but wonder, what happens if you face the time paradox straight on? What happens if you let the characters meet themselves?

And so The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management was born. It takes place in a world where humans have mastered time–or, at least, they think they have–and looks at how that would likely turn out, given human nature.

Not well, as  a rule.

In Amber’s universe, time is controlled in the Time Management Center, where she’s a clerk processing time files. She’s been a little bit of a bad  woman when it comes to her files, and it’s about to catch up with her.


The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management by Isa-Lee Wolf. Amazon for $2.99. Avoid the time paradox, they say. Paradoxes will rip apart the very essence of space and time, they warn.

Oops.

It’s too late for that for Amber, a clerk at the Time Management Center, who spends her days filing time innies, outies and midlies. When she finds herself being hauled up the side of Mount Chicago, sprawled over the shoulder of a man she doesn’t know, she senses that something is off. Then again, it happened on the heels of one of her lowest days, a day she was relieved was over. Until it wasn’t. The Spokes, which should keep everything when it’s supposed to be, aren’t doing their job, and it doesn’t help that their coffee’s not so great either.

Even worse, the whirling cone of infinity is back in her kitchen, she keeps running into herself everywhere, and people are on to her about what she was doing—but shouldn’t have been doing—with her time files. For Amber, the Great Time Paradox is vastly overrated.

Offbeat Letter O

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With O we head for one of my favorite words: offbeat. I love the weird, I love the unusual, as you can see by the titles of my non-cozy mystery books (as in, the rest of them). It’s a different way of looking at the world, a way of seeing through the surface of us as people and the world we create. It’s finding a new angle for the light to bounce off and see what lies below.

Offbeat, I think, implies a sense of humor about oddness, about being different. Sometimes it’s a conscious decision not to walk in step with everyone else, sometimes it’s because it’s just impossible to find the rhythm, but offbeat doesn’t care. It is what it is and it’s fine with it.

The offbeat, in life, can take you places you wouldn’t think to go. It takes the absurd and makes it absurder. Which I didn’t think was a real word, but spell check’s telling me is A-OK.

It’s more than fine to not fit in. Sometimes, it’s glorious.

In honor of the offbeat, check out my flash fiction collection, Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free! Or try my other offbeat novels, if you want. Here they are, because the single cover looked lonely.

gravy3Aunty Ida's Full-Service Mental Instituionfinal

 

 

 

 

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Better Living Through GRAVY Starts with B

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And the best part about it is that it’s free! OK, sorry about that, I think posting Dr. Seuss yesterday put me into some kind of rhyming fugue state. Normally, I only post free books on Friday (and sadly, F falls on a Monday so I’ll have to think of something else). But the A-to-Z Challenge doesn’t beckon normal.

By the way, It’s also available at  Smashwords, Barnes & Noble and iTunes.

gravy3Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities by Isa-Lee Wolf. Amazon for FREE. A quirky collection of seven short short stories, each about 1000 words or so. All strange with a light dusting of sci-fi, these quick reads offer a brief escape into imaginary worlds with fun, excitement, and possibly a laugh. Or two. Three might be a stretch.

Warning: If a woman calling herself “Aunty Ida” approaches you and offers a solution to your problem, doctors recommend running. Quickly. Whatever direction she’s not in.

Caution: Don’t try any of the proposed solutions at home, as they’ve been found to be scientifically absurd.

Note: Imaginary animals may or may not exist. How should we know?

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Aloha! Aunty Ida Ahead in the A-to-Z Blogging Challenge

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And we start A with a person approximate to my aorta. Ahh, all this could get annoying. I’ll try not to be too cute with it, although Aunty Ida adores alliteration. Affirmative, our own addled scientist, who isn’t altogether assured of her fictitious nature, is the first book of the A-to-Z Blogging Challenge.


Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only) by Isa-Lee Wolf. Amazon for $3.99. You know that case on LawTV? The one where the judge lost it on national television?

Yes, that was Margaret.

But Ida – who insists you call her “Aunty Ida,” if you want to (no one ever seems to want to) – is there to help. That Margaret doesn’t want her help doesn’t dampen Ida’s delight in playing with her mind-altering toys and calling it therapy.

Besides, the courtroom thing was only a big deal because of the cameras. OK, so it was Margaret’s courtroom, and yes, she was hearing the biggest case of her career, and yes, the LawTV commentators were all over it, but these things always get sensationalized. The restraining order her husband got against her was only temporary.

So she’s suspended. It’s nothing she can’t fix.

Sure, Margaret has no idea who this Ida person is, but if she can get her to sign a form, she’ll be back on the bench in no time. Unfortunately for Margaret, Aunty Ida knows exactly who Margaret is. And Margaret isn’t going anywhere.

With relentless optimism, Ida dives into curing Margaret of her problems, one odd treatment at a time. But Margaret knows there’s nothing wrong with her.

She was set up, and she’s determined to prove it.

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The Great Paradox and the Indies

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Therin Knite is at it again with another Awesome Indie Book Roundup, and this one has a ton to offer, including five free books. And if you missed the first one on March 8, don’t despair, here’s the link.

It also features, among a bunch of fun options, a book of time-based ridiculousness by yours truly. Go check out the excellent company my book is keeping, and meanwhile, here’s a time paradox for you.

 


The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management
by Isa-Lee Wolf. Amazon for $2.99. Avoid the time paradox, they say. Paradoxes will rip apart the very essence of space and time, they warn.

Oops.

It’s too late for that for Amber, a clerk at the Time Management Center, who spends her days filing time innies, outies and midlies. When she finds herself being hauled up the side of Mount Chicago, sprawled over the shoulder of a man she doesn’t know, she senses that something is off. Then again, it happened on the heels of one of her lowest days, a day she was relieved was over. Until it wasn’t. The Spokes, which should keep everything when it’s supposed to be, aren’t doing their job, and it doesn’t help that their coffee’s not so great either.

Even worse, the whirling cone of infinity is back in her kitchen, she keeps running into herself everywhere, and people are on to her about what she was doing—but shouldn’t have been doing—with her time files. For Amber, the Great Time Paradox is vastly overrated.

Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities

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gravy3Well, I’m going off script again, but at least it might make this Monday feel like a Friday. My funny, weird short story collection, Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities is now free from Amazon, as well as Smashwords, Apple, and Barnes & Noble. So it’s free everywhere! Yay! Take a copy. I hear it’s great for stabilizing that wobbly virtual coffee table.

 

Free Book Friday Continues with Better Living Through GRAVY

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They say a little self-promotion is good for the soul. OK, no one says that, but maybe they think it? Secretly? Either way, here it is, for Free Book Friday.

Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities by Isa-Lee Wolf. FREE from Smashwords.com
A quirky collection of seven short short stories of about 1000 words. Strange with dusting of sci-fi, these quick reads offer a brief escape into imaginary worlds with absurdity, excitement, and possibly a laugh. Or two. Three’s a stretch. Warning: If a woman named “Aunty Ida” approaches you and offers a solution to your problem, doctors recommend running. Quickly.