So I took a gamble this year and picked up a dental insurance plan. In the past I have priced them, and given the waiting periods for most, you end up shelling out more for the plan than the value the plan provides for services. Which is probably to be expected, because that is how profits are made.

But this year, I found a plan that sounded reasonably priced and seemed to cover the services I needed. I had an appointment scheduled in February, so I figured I’d only be two months into the plan when I had the appointment and then could tell if it was worthwhile.

The appointment came and went (yay on the went) and my brand-new insurance covered…$3 less than what I had paid into the plan thus far.

In six months, when I go back, I will have sunk four more months into the plan to get pretty much nothing out of it.

So I called the insurer to cancel the plan. First I had to wade through computer voice hell, a hell where the tone is much too pleasant, so you know the computer is enjoying it. I finally got a human, a lovely human as it happens, who told me that she couldn’t cancel the plan, that I needed to talk to a “marketplace representative.”

Uh huh.

Clearly it’s a tactic to try to get people to hang up. But I would not be deterred. She said the wait time would be 20 minutes. I figure I can write a blog post, right? Why not?

She asked if I wanted her to hold with me. I asked if it meant that they’d get to me faster. She laughed, and I took that as a yes. She said she was putting me back on hold; she promptly hung up on me.

Oops.

I called the number she gave me, waded through another electronic voice, and got in the hold line. Still 20 minutes. I settled in, but the other line rang. Then my cellphone.

It was my agent friend! She didn’t know what had happened but she kept our place in line, so here I am listening to tinny music through my phone speaker as I type this. I’m not sure where we are in the 20 minute odyssey, but I will cancel this insurance. I will.

I’ll keep you posted.

Check out  my full-length novels,  Her Cousin Much Removed,  The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management and Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only), and the sequel, Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) which is now available!

Sign up for my spamless newsletter. And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s free!