You may be ready for the zombie apocalypse (and who isn’t), but are you prepared if you become a zombie? No? Well, then this book should get you up to speed. It shouldn’t be too hard, zombies aren’t that fast.
The Zombie Fitness Manual by P.J. Hafner. Amazon for $3.99. Undead living is never easy.
There’s stalking, there’s chasing, there’s waiting. Denial. Disillusionment. Disappointment. And sooner or later, the following thoughts occur to most every frustrated Zombie:
· Why does my food source – the living – often overwhelm me with such ease?
· What can I do to attain fulfillment; in other words, assure that I stay full?
· After arising from the dead, how can I raise my game?
In addition to these distressing challenges, do you find yourself feeling lethargic and wobbly? Sensing less and less coordination as time wears on? Maybe even worried your best days are behind you?
Worry no more. In the pages of The Zombie Fitness Manual, you’ll learn step-by-step how to get your vitality back, restore your undead energy, and score some wins over your elusive prey.
Read this book, follow its advice, and you’ll realize the following payoffs:
· You’ll lumber with less fatigue.
· You’ll hobble along with greater effectiveness.
· You’ll enjoy increased chances of conquest once you’ve made a capture.
· And perhaps the greatest benefit of all, upon attacking victims, you’ll be able to keep your decaying physique intact. Your days of coming apart at the seams will be over. (Well, you may still lose a body part now and then, but that can happen to the best of us. Why not feel in top form as your condition runs its course, right?)
Follow the exercise techniques in The Zombie Fitness Manual, and your hunting outings will be much more fruitful. Or brain-full. Whatever.