It’s a bit of a gray day today, but the autumn leaves are in their full glory here, and there’s something so dramatic about the contrast. I’ll take it. Besides, today I have something to confess.
Brace yourselves.
I am not perfect. I know, I know, I’ll give you a second to gather your thoughts and unclutch your pearls.
Just last week, I spouted about how it won’t kill you to admit you are wrong, though much more artfully, so you should check it out. I wish WordPress would embed Spoutible links, hint hint WordPress. And offer Spoutible as an option for sharing.
But I digress. When the topic is your own wrongness, it’s easy to do.
Back on track. Well this very morning, I was wrong. The other person and I worked though it, we are fine, and I apologized. An apology, while we’re on the topic, doesn’t offer excuses or justifications for the behavior or condition it with an “if.” For future reference. Which you will probably need.
Because.
Not one of us is finished. Not one of us is a perfect being in a perfect state, who understands everything perfectly and relates perfectly to others and if anyone actually is then you should steer clear because they are either an alien or an android and neither of those movies ends well.
We all make mistakes. Everyone of us. Including me. Today, especially me.
Owning that, taking responsibility not only helps the other person, though they have no obligation to forgive you even if you apologize fully without qualifiers, but it also helps you. It really does.
I think we should close out the era of “shameful secrets,” and if you internalize your wrongness because an apology and an acknowledgement feels awkward, that’s what you’re creating. You’re also making it harder for yourself the next time you mess up, because you aren’t starting from solid ground, but a shaky tower of excuses and ego you risk with every mess up.
This is where Spoutible is unique among social media, because it’s an easy place to work out disagreements respectfully. Trolls don’t get involved to fan the flames. People there, in general, don’t immediately take sides and create a feud; and on the other hand, no one stands still for bullying. It’s a place that creates room for actual discourse.
Which makes accusations of an echo chamber all the more ludicrous.
So learn from my mistakes which will be your mistakes at some point. And I will never tell someone what they need to talk through or tolerate or accept, but I will say that many conversations I’ve had in the last couple of weeks that would have ended in blocking one way or another were completely resolved.
Have a great Monday.
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