#TuesdayThoughts

#TuesdayThoughts: Regrets; or don’t buy a camera from Best Buy.

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It was storming, and now it’s hazy and sort of sunny and I think it may get stormy again. It can always get stormy again.

I splurged and bought myself a new camera, I have no idea how old my previous one is, old enough that my everything Tamron lens cannot be updated to work with the newer camera. And if I’m honest, I’m not thrilled with it.

There’s nothing to be done with it, you only have 15 days to return a camera to Best Buy, so even if there’s something wrong, you’re totally out of luck. I absolutely recommend against using them, and if you do make such a purchase, no matter where, check the policy. With something like a camera, problems aren’t readily apparent.

But beyond that, I am usually so meticulously careful when it comes to a rare purchase like this, I read information and reviews and the problem is you can’t always trust them. And these days the darling of one week may not be the darling next week.

It is difficult to realize you may have picked the wrong one, that you may have made a mistake. That what you thought you wanted isn’t what you really wanted at all; what you thought was important may not be so.

Obviously this isn’t only about cameras.

It’s a part of being human, though not a part I enjoy. I like to plan for every eventuality, I like to get it “right,” whatever right may be.

But “right” and life are as incompatible as perfection and life. Things change and not everything that used to be a sure bet still is. Like buying a camera from Best Buy. Or buying anything from Best Buy.

A lesson I should have already learned.

Anyway, with that ambivalence, I will wish you a wonderful Tuesday.

Check out  my full-length novels (affiliate links): 
Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   
Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 
Her Cousin Much Removed
The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.
And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s quick and weird!
Peruse Montraps Publishing
See what I’m writing on Medium.

#ChatTuesday #TuesdayThoughts: Beyond facts.

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It’s a sunny day today, first fully sunny one in a while, and I think it’s going to be warm too. Yesterday was a bit of a blur, I had things to say and people differed on whether they wanted to hear them, or hear part of them, or hear what they chose to hear.

That’s not unusual.

I have more things to say today but not the desire for a repeat, not today, at least, I’m not in the mood for disappointing surprises. And I have a longer list today than yesterday.

That’s also not unusual.

I think sometimes we try to avoid some truths, including about people, because of what it means if we truly examine them. A lot of our interactions with people hinge on who we hope they are, what we hope they believe, when it all comes down to it.

We can expect it and steel ourselves, but somehow it never, never stops being disappointing. We cannot control the lenses through which other people view us. Nor can we control the filters.

And people have a lot of filters.

Many relationships of all kinds cannot survive that full knowledge, like that apocryphal bite of that apocryphal first apple, the world is forever changed. Sometimes we don’t really want to know what people think of us.

Personally, I’ve had that moment many, many times, that “oh, I see” moment, and yet somehow, somehow, each one surprises me.

Often we feel the compulsion to explain, to demonstrate that it is not the case, the lens is wrong, the filter is wrong, but that is not our job. And yet truth, facts sing their siren call and there’s a desire to dispel the persistent propaganda with its alluring sheen.

At this point, with some things, I think we are beyond facts. People don’t care about them, they care about the filter they want to use and they’re going to use it, regardless.

Anyway, that’s it for me today, I hope you have a wonderful Tuesday.

Check out  my full-length novels (affiliate links): 
Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   
Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 
Her Cousin Much Removed
The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.
And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s quick and weird!
Peruse Montraps Publishing
See what I’m writing on Medium.

#ChatTuesday #TuesdayThoughts: Achoo.

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It’s gray and we’re supposed to get thunderstorms but I’m not sure if that’s going to happen. Yesterday I was out at the lakefront and the crabapples and other trees were in bloom, it was gorgeous.

Today I’m sneezy, and it might be allergies, it might be a cold, I really am not sure. I may never get a definitive answer.

My head is definitely swimming, but again, not really a clue about which way these symptoms are headed.

So I’ll just say a hello–“Hello!”–and call it a day and a post. Unless you would like a post that’s mainly a collection of sneezes, which to me, doesn’t sound entirely awesome.

Who knows.

Have a great Tuesday.

Check out  my full-length novels (affiliate links): 
Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   
Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 
Her Cousin Much Removed
The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.
And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s quick and weird!
Peruse Montraps Publishing
See what I’m writing on Medium.

#ChatTuesday #TuesdayThoughts: Mindfulness only minds so far.

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It’s largely sunny this morning, though we are supposed to get rain later. Maybe. Who knows.

I’m in a kind of a restless mood, I couldn’t tell you why, it is what it is. Some days are like that, some weeks are like that and some months are like that.

This month is definitely like that.

I am worried about the little things and the big things. And maybe all the things in-between. The worst part is not knowing if it’s baseless or not. Baseless is, of course, better in the long run.

Everything now feels like it’s at a fevered pitch, at maximum everything, and maybe that’s by design and maybe that’s just where we are in this particular moment in time. A decision away from a world aflame, really.

Months away from an election that could determine the history of the world and whether there will be anyone left to record it.

All the way down to the cost of prescriptions.

That’s a lot of levels of worry.

Sometimes I envy the go-with-the-flow types, the people who can view now only as now and deal with later as it comes.

Me, I like to be prepared. I like to have a plan, no matter what that plan is for, no matter what that plan entails, no matter how unlikely that plan is to be utilized.

Sometimes that helps with the worry, sometimes it doesn’t, but what else can we do? Mindfulness only minds so far.

Have a great Tuesday.

Check out  my full-length novels (affiliate links): 
Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   
Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 
Her Cousin Much Removed
The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.
And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s quick and weird!
Peruse Montraps Publishing
See what I’m writing on Medium.

#ChatTuesday #TuesdayThoughts: A dip in the road

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(Image: W.carter, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons)

The weather is finally warmish, it’s sunny with some streaky clouds, and yesterday I saw the buds on the trees ready to go. Any moment now, Spring will hit here.

Which is lovely.

Right now, though, I feel like I’m in one of those dips in the road that comes with being a person, though if it becomes a long one I suppose that makes it a furrow in the road which would make driving really dangerous. I think I need to take my metaphors less literally.

But our roads are rarely perfectly flat and smooth, they rise and fall with the landscape. Sometimes they seem to rise and fall in spite of the landscape.

I can’t even direct you to anything specific that made it so, it’s just one of those times when things seem harder, even without a dial up on the difficulty level. In the cosmic balance of things, I suppose they must settle in to the other side of the scale against those magical times when everything seems easier than you think it will be.

Who doesn’t love those times?

Still, what is there to do but keep on going down that road. It won’t be perfect, for sure it won’t be perfect, and it may have potholes the size of Pluto, but it’s the road we have and it’s uniquely ours.

Even when it dips.

Have a great Tuesday.

Check out  my full-length novels (affiliate links): 
Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   
Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 
Her Cousin Much Removed
The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.
And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s quick and weird!
Peruse Montraps Publishing
See what I’m writing on Medium.

#ChatTuesday #TuesdayThoughts: It’s not a blessing and it’s not a curse.

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It’s very gray out, so gray it’s only gray, and maybe raining, maybe not, I can’t tell. I feel like we’ve had more foggy days than we have before, but I don’t know if that’s factually true. It just seems that way.

Perhaps it’s too dark to write because my thoughts are as cloudy, as nebulous, as impenetrable as that fog. And not for any particular reason, there a just days when I sit down and the blinking cursor blinks and blinks and blinks at me and refuses to move.

I think we can all agree it’s its fault.

Creativity is like that, though, sometimes it’s overabundant and flowing and you couldn’t slow it if you wanted, not that you want to.

And sometimes it’s like this, a little elusive, a little stuck. Things can’t go well or smoothly all the time, and that’s not a blessing and it’s not a curse, it’s just the curves of life.

It’s true for all aspects, really, we get these long straightaways and they are wonderful, smooth sailing (ok fine a little bit of a mixed metaphor there), and feels like things might always be that way. And then the bend shows up and you can’t see around it.

That’s the thing about bends.

All you can do is take it one step at a time (yes, that’s another metaphor, you don’t have to keep track or anything) and take it as it appears. That curve might lead to a hidden straightaway.

It might lead to another curve.

But either way, you’re moving forward.

And with that, I wish you a wonderful Tuesday.

Check out  my full-length novels (affiliate links): 
Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   
Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 
Her Cousin Much Removed
The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.
And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s quick and weird!
Peruse Montraps Publishing
See what I’m writing on Medium.

#ChatTuesday #TuesdayThoughts: Can’t stop thinking about the bridge.

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It rained really hard for a few minutes, then stopped. But it looks like more is on the way, and soon. They warned us it could be severe so this seems much better than they predicted.

But it’s not over yet.

Today my thoughts are largely for Baltimore and that awful Francis Scott Key Bridge collapse, it was hard to believe, watching it, seeing it crumple like a toy. I hope the workers still unaccounted for are found quickly and alive.

One moment there was a bridge. The next there was not.

My heart goes out to the families affected, to the crew of the ship who also lived through and witnessed this horrendous event. It’s worth reminding everyone that republicans voted against funding for infrastructure before they start claiming it’s somehow the fault of Democrats.

It isn’t.

Anyway, that’s it for me today, hoping for the best and checking constantly for updates. I hope you have as good a Tuesday as possible and a safe one.

#ChatTuesday #TuesdayThoughts: Why isn’t the issue turning in anger?

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It’s sunny and it’s supposed to be the warmest it will be for the week today, going up to 50. But windy, so 50-ish.

I’ve been thinking, since yesterday, about how people always blame women for not knowing that a man is the kind to turn in anger, yet also blame women if they suspect every man is the kind to turn in anger.

How are we supposed to know?

Why isn’t the issue turning in anger?

I thought I had reached a stage in life when I could sense who was likely to do that and who would not, and to a large extent, I’ve been correct, the ones I thought would explode exploded, some with with the most minor of exchanges. The ones I thought would not, I thought, had proven themselves, sometimes more than once.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday I had a man I thought was in column B explode just like a man in column A. Had I been expecting it, it probably wouldn’t have fazed me in the slightest and I’d be writing about something else today. But I didn’t expect it. The vehemence took me aback; the realization that whatever friendly acquaintanceship I thought we had, it never was.

To be clear, this has happened more times in my life than I can count; many men, maybe even most, make for very fickle friends to a lot of women. I’ve had anger over not being romantically interested; I’ve had anger over casual disagreements; I’ve had intense anger when correcting something that was wrong; I’ve had rage over not deferring in one way or another. And don’t even get me started on the ones who slowly realize they’ve been outthought “by a girl.”

So you would think, by now, I should see it coming, right?

No. It’s not mine to see. It’s not my problem, this is a problem of men. This is an issue for men to understand about themselves and fix, not an issue for women to dodge like landmines.

“Oh no! Stepped on one? You should have been more careful.”

By and large, the men I hang out with on social media are not like this, especially now on Spoutible, and maybe that’s why it caught me so off guard. Because I was literally off guard, I’d relaxed into the space.

I thought it was a space where we could relax.

But if men wonder why women seem to keep our boundaries sharp, well this is it. Too many instances of surprise “nice guy” meltdowns.

And I will emphasize again, no, it’s not for us to have some kind of womany internal crystal ball to know who will be the one to blow up at us if we dare to challenge them or ask them a polite question or, in the worst of all crimes, outthink them.

It’s to men to recognize they are no more people than us, entitled to no more deference than we are, and to treat women like human beings, not objects at which to aim rage.

And with that, I wish you a good, insightful Tuesday.

Check out  my full-length novels (affiliate links): 
Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   
Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 
Her Cousin Much Removed
The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.
And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s quick and weird!
Peruse Montraps Publishing
See what I’m writing on Medium.

#ChatTuesday #TuesdayThoughts: My thoughts on the “atmosphere” because my brain made me.

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It’s a sunny cloudy day, those clouds that might just be pale sky, and I guess I’m going to have to just say some things so I’ll say them and get on with it.

If someone is suggesting that your position, language or method of approaching something stems from privilege, even if you are normally aware of such things, it’s a critique worth considering. Maybe it really isn’t, but at least you’ll have examined the possibility.

Or maybe it actually is. That’s not a crime, it’s not going to get you shunned for all eternity. It’s an opportunity for growth.

The other thing my brain won’t shut up about until I get it out: when I said the only man I’ll defer to on Spoutible is Christopher Bouzy, I meant that literally. Yes, we create the environment; yes we are allowed far more input than any other social media site in the wilds of the internet; yes, some of us have even put money into the site.

But.

We are not on the board. We are not the owners of the site. The decisions, ultimately, are not ours.

That’s going to be true anywhere else, in fact no one would imagine otherwise about other social media sites, unless we have the ability and ingenuity and fortitude to create our own social media havens and get people to use them. Reality is reality.

Is everyone I don’t think should be on the site off the site?

Uhh no.

And let’s be honest, at the rate I rack up people blocking me, particularly white men who do not enjoy the “no deferral” policy, there are plenty who think I should be gone. But I am not.

If you’ve wondered why I, with my endless supply of word-swords and windmills, have not tilted at this one, it is simple: what is the point?

This is a no-win situation for people not directly involved, because eventually when all is calm again, those who waded in will find themselves without a towel. I know, because I have been there.

If you, like me, don’t have all the details, I say we accept that, as it is.

I save my fight for real battles, and we have some doozies ahead of us in this year with the most pivotal election of our lifetimes. Spoutible is our submarine, it is our cannon, it it’s our long range missile, it’s our other war-y thing because this is not my kind of metaphor. We can change the world together, but not if we let the things that don’t actually impact us and the world around us divide us.

Like it or don’t like it, on Spoutible, Christopher Bouzy is the one who decides (I couldn’t bring myself to describe him as the “decider”). That’s just a fact. You can rail against it but you’ll rail yourself off the platform.

I don’t intend to minimize anyone’s feelings, either, but some things are simply not worth the energy that could be put to better use.

OK so that was more than I intended to say, but at least my brain can shush now. Have a great Tuesday, and let’s just pick ourselves up and move on.

Check out  my full-length novels (affiliate links): 
Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   
Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 
Her Cousin Much Removed
The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.
And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s quick and weird!
Peruse Montraps Publishing
See what I’m writing on Medium.

#ChatTuesday #TuesdayThoughts: Quick post, check out my article on Medium.

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Today I posted a lengthy piece on Medium, “If you think Pres. Biden’s age is an issue, congrats you’ve been duped,” talking about how people don’t seem to get how much less important his age is than fascism.

If you can’t access the link above, here is a friend link.

So not a lot to today’s post here, mostly a quick hello to encourage you to read and share that piece. Meanwhile, we had some thunderstorms, though now it’s just gray and looks like it wants to rain, and much, much colder.

But hey, it’s Chicago in March, unpredictable is kind of its thing.

I will wish you a lovely Tuesday, and if you have a primary today for Super Tuesday, and have not yet voted, please vote. It’s our most sacred right.

Have a great day.