It’s gray outside, it’s gray in my head, and it looks like both will be that way for a while. Frankly, I’m not even sure what else to say about it I haven’t already said, I feel like I’m bleating into the void.
I know that’s not entirely true, and to those of you who really do care, I see it, I notice it, even when it’s not apparent.
And to those who actually don’t, well, I see that and notice that too.
I’ve always said morality isn’t transactional, your morals are your morals because you believe in them. You don’t stand up against bigotry for praise or acknowledgment, but because it’s the right thing to do.
But what I haven’t said is I learned long, long ago the hard way that it’s often not reciprocal, that you can advocate for people who will smile and wave as they stroll away from you, back exposed. This isn’t hypothetical, I’ve experienced it.
Repeatedly.
But my morals remain my morals. If they were transactional, if they depended on being reciprocal, it would be a patchwork of morality indeed. I advocate for what’s right because it is right.
It doesn’t make it hurt less each and every time someone makes it clear that the bigotry against me is lesser, unimportant. Sometimes even something to take amusement in.
That one’s really difficult to swallow.
And again, it’s not once. It’s not one person. It’s not one time. I’ve had so many people I thought were friends say blanketly antisemitic things to me and look to me to agree.
Some people seem to think the fear is new, a reaction to the 400% rise in antisemitic incidents this year, but those people are people who don’t know Jewish people, or have Jewish people in their lives who don’t trust them.
Every single one of us who is alive today has a family history of fleeing, of escaping in the night before death comes pounding, of small children sent alone on trains to foreign countries to make their way, never to see their families again.
We are not unique in our long, bloody history being the targets of violence, but that we are not unique does not mean that it’s unimportant or meaningless. Or funny.
Liberal circles are not really more open to discussions of antisemitism, so that you haven’t seen them doesn’t mean they’re not happening, they’re just not happening with you. We too have the fear and wisdom of our ancestors who made it this far whispering in our ears.
There are 16 million Jews left in the world and plenty of people who would like to see that number at zero, and plenty more who really don’t care either way.
It’s a bitter reality we try frequently to ignore, but right now, it’s just too loud to drown it out.
That’s it for me today, have a good Tuesday and thanks for reading all the way through. If you can speak out, please do.
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