It’s sunny, heading toward hot, and I thought I’d have trouble figuring out what to write about today.
Silly me.
See the fun thing about writing is these days, everyone can do it, and everyone can have an opinion. Which means people can have an opinion on your opinion.
Yup. Here we go.
The hardest part with this post, though, is where, precisely, to start.
You have probably heard me say, in one format or another, that your morals are your morals or they aren’t. It is one of my tightest held truths; you are not who you say you are, you are who you are.
And if your entire moral code is as flexible and treacherous as a suspension bridge, it is not your moral code. It’s your demand for attention.
It’s your veneer, it’s your armor.
But it is not your core belief.
There was some kind of dust-up on Spoutible involving founder Christopher Bouzy and a user I won’t name. That user, however, posted a missive about how Spoutible will fail and how wronged she was because she’s an enlightened person.
To paraphrase.
I’m sure, as I delve in, I too will be a “bully.” And I did not see the exchange, I couldn’t make it through the piece purporting to show the exchange, I can only piece together the exchange, and then the performance in response.
But it’s irrelevant, because the underlying exchange no longer matters. We are beyond the substance of it and on to reaction.
I’ve also said before, on more than one occasion, that Spoutible may be the first place that a lot of white people have encountered where they are not centered.
We are not centered.
I should really make this a we.
There is no undercurrent of white privilege in its structure, and it’s amazing how often people who deem themselves “enlightened” suddenly find themselves trying to propel themselves with that old, tired but trusty motor.
Spoutible provides it no gas.
So the person trying to use it may find themself going in circles.
Look, I know we were raised on damsels in distress, on princess stories and proximity, though some more than others.
But those tokens don’t work in the Spoutible arcade.
Instead of publicly decrying grievous wounds, these situations should be taken as an opportunity to examine our reactions, our expectations.
If you think you’ve already done all the work, you won’t notice when you have work to do. And we all have work to do.
All of us.
There is something particularly noxious about a white woman crying injury at the hands of a Black man who has not done objective harm. The history is all there, all steeped in, and an “enlightened” person has seen the script play out, over and over and over again.
The idea that, with a few sniffles and a missive that is two thirds too long, a user could turn the power dynamic on its head. Are we supposed to pretend that we don’t see it?
That which is so blatantly obvious?
That the CEO of a growing and flourishing social media site owes something to her? A tone of voice? A delicacy of phrasing?
Some, dare I say, deference?
Now you see why it was difficult for me to start, because any way I mined, I was going to hit magma.
And I don’t mean the topic, I mean my own anger.
I am very tired of conditional equality, equality that is supposed to come with unspoken degrees and caveats.
Your morals are your morals or they aren’t.
You are not who you say you are, you are who you are.
Dangerous–literally dangerous, physically perilous, risk of life dangerous–tropes are no way to assuage hurt feelings. They are the quick, reliable tools of a person you don’t want to be.
So it’s easy to be a white woman on Spoutible. Listen more, talk less (OK we all know I don’t do this one), boost people to make sure they are heard and seen. It’s not about us, it’s about a vibrant, diverse community, and we are single pixels in a much larger picture.
In other words, just, like…be a person.
And with that, lest I go on much, much, much too long, I will wish you a wonderful, thoughtful Tuesday.
A Bit to Read 
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