It’s a gloomy one, and pretty chilly though slightly warmer than it’s been. Somehow it’s December, and I don’t know how that happened.
First, a huge thank you to Judith_Z_ for the coffees, I am always, always so gratified when I can express the things so many of feel but find it difficult to quantify. Thank you not only for your generosity, but for letting me know I was able to find the words.
And now Monday.
Has anyone ever said that with enthusiasm? I have a big case of the ughs this morning, and I couldn’t even tell you why, not specifically.
Maybe it’s the relentless forward motion of time, maybe it’s the dread of what lies ahead only a few more turns of the clock. Maybe it’s learning over the last month that my view of humanity my whole life appears to be almost entirely wrong.
That’s a bitter, bitter pill and it’s not going down easily.
So I’m looking out at gray, and looking in at gray, and everyone knows the simple formula is gray plus gray equals ugh.
That’s kindergarten stuff.
It does feel like we all took a few days off just to try to shut out the world a little and enjoy what we enjoy, and I have to say that was really nice. But Mondays always come, that’s a key characteristic of Mondays.
And “ugh” may be something we have to adjust to. Again.
A constant undertone, a constant faint sound you can only sort of hear and that ever really goes away. Ugh might be a part of things from now on, an extra ten pound weight we had to pick up and now have to carry for reasons far, far, far beyond our control.
The thing is, though.
When you carry a weight like that, so long you simply get used to it, there are times you will forget you’re carrying it at all. And yes, I’m saying it like it’s a good thing because a moment will come where you feel, truly feel, the extra strength you’ve gained, whether you wanted it or not.
I found myself sighing just then, nonetheless.
We must cope before we can do anything else. We must stabilize and find our footing before we can do anything else. So let’s not let them push us off balance, pulling rugs left and right.
Let’s practice standing on one foot, over and over and over again.
(You should literally do that too, not just metaphorically, it helps prevent falls.)
Let’s figure out the best way each of us can stow that weight and keep on going.
Even in a state of ugh.
Have a great Monday. Or an ugh Monday if you’re also in ugh. Whatever it is, let it be authentic.
A Bit to Read 
Leave a comment