It’s still extremely hot and we were supposed to get storms today but apparently they’ve declined to appear. Tomorrow, maybe, which would be more inconvenient, but how can you file a complaint with the weather?
If I knew, I’d make a fortune.
I’ve been indulging in one of my favorite escapes lately, K-Dramas. First Spooky in Love which I adored start to finish, it was a really fun watch, even if it seemed to kind of forget about the ghosts halfway through. Still no complaints, it was frothy escapism, and truly hit the spot in a way they haven’t been lately.
The thing about K-Dramas, at least for me, since I don’t speak Korean, is I have to focus on the show. It requires more of my brain to be present so I can enjoy the performances, the stories, the characters, the environments and know what’s happening. I find it very relaxing.
So I’m now watching Sold Out on You, and I’m spotting that same issue so many of these dramas have: we’re supposed to be rooting for the brooding, moody, and sometimes cruel-though-his-intentions-are-good hero and not the consistently kind, considerate guy who listens to her established boundaries and respects them.
Now in this case, that brooding guy is played by Ahn Hyo-seop, so you can see how a person’s heart could be persuaded, and I’ll tell you, despite the evidence that he, as a person, has a fantastic sense of humor and is actually a gifted physical comedian, I’d buy him as Heathcliff in yet another Wuthering Heights version.
Heathcliff himself is another problematic character, but that’s a whole different story in all senses of the word.
The thing with these dramas is these guys always have a noble reason for their cruel, thoughtless, or abusive behavior. They are often secretly doing it for the good of the woman–without consulting her, of course–inflicting the pain on themselves, so the stories go, so that she doesn’t suffer.
But they’re being awful to the women so of course they suffer.
And yes, we can agree in the shows this is all for the sake of plot, especially in the ones where the romance is the primary storyline.
These kinds of representations not only serve the patriarchy, but they actively hurt people who model what they see, whether consciously or subconsciously.
Because in real life, men absolutely never have noble reasons for hurting romantic partners because there is no noble reason to do so. These shows fuel the idea that there “must be a reason” and “he doesn’t mean to,” or “his intentions are good.”
Characters may work that way but people don’t. It’s a device to keep protagonists apart, nothing more.
Seeing these things, though, gets into people’s heads. How do you get the woman? Treat her poorly. Why does he treat me poorly? He has a noble reason.
And I hear you. I still watch them, I still enjoy them. I’m still enjoying Sold Out on You.
But I’ve also seen more of the world and human nature than a vast portion of the intended audience. And I hope they can learn to watch critically, not assuming behaviors are acceptable because they’re in the “Romance” section.
Anyway, it’s gotten to be a long one today, so I shall end it here and wish you a wonderful Thursday.
A Bit to Read 
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