A Bit to Read

It’s still very hot, already 87 F (31 C) and heading up before it goes down, and I am relatively sure my brain short circuited.

Something is misfiring.

But before all that, thank you so much, Gail, for the coffee! With all that is happening right now, caffeine and caffeine alone feel like the surest things. Especially with a brain that needs a new fuse. Thank you!

And Wednesday.

Right now we are seeing some of the ugliest of American “traditions” coming back into focus, though truth be told they’ve been on the upswing for years. But let me say this, because I honestly cannot process it all, especially after just having seen a public video gloating and laughing about it, please, please, do not trust large groups of white people if you differ from them in any way.

Especially now.

Especially now.

The restraints of society, such that they are, have been torn, and the cruelty, the depravity, the bloodthirstiness, they are all let free once again. The things that man said, openly, in public, laughing away as though it was the most amusing thought in the world.

I cannot get past it. Not to honor the poor, poor kids who trusted people intent on harming them; not to honor the adults in that same situation.

It is a quirk in my brand of empathy, I overload and then shut down, so it is not indifference, it’s not minimization, it’s not ignoring.

Sometimes the things I’m not writing about are the things I’m thinking about the most.

My worry for people, people I know and people I don’t, grows, a fearsome beast I cannot look in the eye for fear of what I’ll find.

Is it a good way to cope?

Probably not, but it’s what I have, until all the parts have sifted through. I may or may not write about it then, because sometimes I am afraid the more oxygen you give a thing the bigger it grows. And this flame of violent hatred has regrown too big already.

So I will go back to basics and ask, again, for extreme caution.

These times are not good times.

I hope you have as great a Wednesday as is possible.