relationships

#WednesdayWisdom: We are strange creatures.

Standard

(WordPress’s AI generated this image of a fuzzy monster in a field of flowers and I kind of love it)

We’ll finish out the week with the Exciting Conclusion to “The Day the Universe Stood Iffy,” which feels fitting to me somehow. It’s another gray one, humid, and I think it’s going to rain again.

We had thunder and lightning yesterday.

I’m thinking today about the thin line between being thoughtful and being callous, and how little effort it takes for the former, and sometimes how much more effort it takes for the latter.

We are strange creatures, we humans.

Or maybe I’ve just never learned how to be properly selfish, maybe I am the one who is strange, as I am often the one who is strange, and maybe I consider the comfort and feelings of others too much. Which is also certainly possible.

I’m a strange creature, even among humans.

No need to go into detail, as the general applies to so many more people than just weird old me, but if someone has an issue that has to be addressed to comfortably go somewhere, whether that issue is related to food, accommodation, noise, what have you, shifting that into an inconvenience is one of those callous things. It’s already inconvenient for the person who has to deal with it.

People without the array of problems randomly assigned to people without our input or permission often seem to think we have them to demand special treatment, to get attention, to make ourselves interesting or difficult. They rarely consider having to ask the same questions, time and time again, and rely upon the answers; only that single time that question is asked of them.

So my wisdom for the day is this: if you are the person someone must ask, make it easy to do so. If you already know, even better, plan for it.

Again, I’m not being specific because there are so many different situations to which this could apply. But a few seconds of being thoughtful over callous can change the tone of everything.

Have a great Wednesday.

Check out  my full-length novels (affiliate links): 
Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   
Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 
Her Cousin Much Removed
The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.
And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s quick and weird!
Peruse Montraps Publishing
See what I’m writing on Medium.

#FridayThoughts: Surround yourself with people who wish you well.

Standard

It’s Friday and the sky is this funny blue color I’d forgotten skies come in. It was cloudy this morning, so their vanishing comes as a bit of a surprise, so at least it’s a nice one.

Today I am thinking about the complexities of being a human in a vast universe full of so much of the unknown, and a single, simple idea resonates: surround yourself with people who wish you well.

This is far more complicated than a series of words on a virtual page, as you likely know. In fact it may have struck you as more of a platitude than a suggestion and that wouldn’t be an unfair assessment.

But.

One of the problems of being a human in a vast universe full of so much of the unknown is there are people who wish us well, there are people we wish wished us well, and there are people we cannot even pretend wish us well.

Those last ones are somewhat easier to avoid, though they don’t always make it obvious. Sometimes they root against us through fake smiles and words that sound genuine. When you find one of those, it can be uniquely awful, because you then reevaluate everything through that lens.

It’s the ones who we wish wished us well, though, who cause us the most frustration, the biggest upswell of insecure and hurt feelings, the biggest wave of self doubt. Because you always have that underlying, nagging question.

Why don’t they?

Sometimes it’s true indifference, and that’s a life thing, some people will be indifferent to us, including some of the people you would think would be contractually obligated not to be. And sometimes it’s maliciousness, which can be borne of so many things, but I’ll tell you now, unless you’re a bad person, that maliciousness is about them, not you.

But you cannot force interest or compassion or connection where there is none.

It can make some people angry; it can make some people sad, but focusing on these people is putting energy into a black hole. You will get nothing in return.

Focus on the people who clearly wish you well. Focus on the people who cheer you on, who stand by you, who will tell you the truth and love you anyway.

And it’s not a numbers game either. It’s fine if there is only one person you can truly count as someone who will cheer you on; some people have hundreds, they are imbued with some kind of light that draws others.

They also draw the other two types, though, in greater numbers, so there’s that.

How about you? Do you wish others well? Are you a secret well of anger or of jealousy? Do you pretend to be supportive or are you really? Because that simple change could alter everything, for you and for others.

And if you are struggling to think of someone right now in the moment, don’t worry about that either. You be your own first cheerleader, and I’ll be your second.

Have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend.

Check out  my full-length novels (affiliate links): 
Aunty Ida’s Full-Service Mental Institution (by Invitation Only)   
Aunty Ida’s Holey Amazing Sleeping Preparation (Not Doctor Recommended) 
Her Cousin Much Removed
The Great Paradox and the Innies and Outies of Time Management.
And download Better Living Through GRAVY and Other Oddities, it’s quick and weird!
Peruse Montraps Publishing
See what I’m writing on Medium.